Beauty, Security, and the
Struggle for Sustainability
In September of 2014, I made
some amendments to a lifestyle that I had been pursuing for eight years up
until that point, full-time artist and musician. Sure, in the interim I earned
two degrees from LSU and held a handful of unrelated part-time jobs, but the
way of life consistent with creation and musical exploration was always
present. In that September nearly a year ago, I decided that I would need to
supplement my income with earnings both substantial and consistent. At the
time, and for personal reasons I won't go into here, I had to heal quickly from
the long-standing disposition I carried holding that to have a need for any income
outside of my musical earnings implied that I failed or wasn’t proficient
enough to support myself on music alone. That is an interior lie perpetuated by
a culture that, on the whole, does not value Beauty in the way one would value
other life essentials…but that is a whole other blog, and I digress.
As
of today, and since that point in time, I have applied for thirty-five jobs.
These jobs vary in title and responsibility, but are related in their lists of
qualifications, education requirements, and suggested experiences. For my
purpose, they were titles relating to logistics, administration,
organizational, clerical, performance, conducting, and management. Ten of those
titles were decided without consideration, and as for the three that offered me
interviews…well, if they had worked out, I don’t think I would be writing this.
As for the remaining twenty-two, I haven’t been contacted at all. Now, I’m sure
there’s a Pearson counselor out there who may be reading this thinking, “well,
you just need to know how to differentiate yourself from potential employers…”.
That logic is fleeting. The truth is, the markets are saturated and employers
aren’t always interested in investing in potential employees. I would be
dishonest if I was to say that I haven’t felt discouraged and desolate at
times. I’ve even hated the music that I would normally seek refuge in because I
would feel like it had distracted me for so long that I have become useless. I know plenty of artists, writers,
actors, dancers, and musicians who feel the exact same way.
I
didn’t come here to complain but to brag about a great truth I realized today. I
was in Mass earlier (and for those of you from different faith practices, I
intend to make this as relevant to you as I can), and a line in the gospel
caught my attention. John 6:26-28 reads, “….Amen, amen I say to you, you are
looking for me not because you saw signs but because you ate the loaves and
were filled. Do not work for food that perishes, but for the food that endures
for eternal life…”. In context,
Jesus had just fed 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish to
capacity, and with an abundance left over. Afterwards, he left and was sought
out by many of the disciples that were present at the feast. They desired to be
fed more food, to which Jesus responded that they seek the virtue and way of
life that will get them to Heaven. Friends, Beauty is the great heavenly food found
here on earth. The beauty present to us all in abundance in the forms of music,
nature, written words, drama, dance, love, service, silence, and celebration is
not perishable, nor does it fill us to capacity like the food consumed by the
5,000 people. We never get enough Beauty, and we always leave a beautiful
experience wanting more. One experience will keep us returning again and again,
thus filling our daily lives the substance and true sustainable security that
we believe money alone will bring us. Like wise, I am not saying that we don’t
have a responsibility to feed, shelter, and clothe our families and ourselves.
I would say that, to do so devoid of beautiful encounters and experiences would
render those efforts lifeless when we believe them to be life giving.
This
is my appeal, to beauty makers: let the search for the earthly food that
perishes only aid your ever-continuing search for truth and beauty through your
gifts. For the beauty-receivers: support those who enhance your lives with the
eternal food that is beauty. Do so by investing in them in as many ways as you
are able. Finally, to those of us artists who continue to search for the means
to eat and be healthy, don’t give up!
